What To Do In A Zombie Attack
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What To Do In A Zombie Attack<br>High Quality Version with Music Here! www.youtube.com zombie.lonebannana.com A 1950s educational film showing how to survive a zombie attack. http
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What To Do In A Zombie Attack Copyright MMVI Lone Bannana Productions
Part 1: Be Prepared.
Welcome to the home of the Hendersons
There's Mom, getting the table set for breakfast
Dad catches up on current events
And young Billy does some last minute cramming for the math quiz today
But where is sister?
Sister tells them that something strange is going on outside
What could possibly be happening this early in the day?
Let's go see...
The family is confused,
but forgets that the man is always the leader
Oh no. Zombies!
And it was looking like such a NICE morning...
So Now you have Zombies: Also Known As "There Goes The Neighborhood"
Look at them...
The walking dead.
The Communist product of tampering with forbidden science, and opposing Democracy.
Zombies may not move quickly, but they have increased strength
and are immune to most forms of bodily harm.
It's a good thing the Hendersons are moral, Christian, tax-paying Americans
and they've learned the proper way to react when zombies attack.
Good Work, Dad!
Shutting and locking the door is an often overlooked solution.
Zombies lack the intelligence to work even simple doorknobs.
Dad tells Billy to go get the shotgun, and Billy rushes to the task!
Sister also knows her role.
Young girls should fly into an unreasonable panic at the first sign of any trouble.This
helps inspire the men.
Mom, you'd better calm her down.
Good Job, Mom!
Billy's got the shotgun, and some extra ammo. Now get back to Dad.
Uh oh!
Looks like someone left the back door open, and a zombie has wandered into the kitchen.
Billy doesn't have enough time to load the shotgun, so he is going to have to improvise.
While every American family should have a large caliber gun,
those who are caught unprepared, or who hate the constitution
should learn the value of improvised weaponry.
Let's look at some of Billy's options.
He could grab the fish that is thawing on the counter.
Blunt objects work great, but a fish would probably be too hard to hold.
There's also Moms kitchen knife.
But piercing weapons, while good for stabbing dirty commies, aren't very good for killing
the walking dead.
There's a baseball bat by the fridge; a perfect choice!
But the Post-War kitchen is too small to swing it adequately.
There is a fourth choice, though. One that not everyone would think of immediately.
It's flexible, and easily found during a zombie attack.
That's right! The zombies own arm!
Collecting the arm is simple;
Approach the zombies blind side, or knock it off balance.
Grasp the arm firmly, brace you foot on its ribcage,
then pull with all your might.
Decayed tissue helps the limb tear free, and you can beat your foe to your heart's content.
Let's see how Billy does...
What good form!
Well done, Billy!
Look at him go!
Billy did Excellently!
And now they've got the shotgun!
The Hendersons are well on their way to helping save America from this threat!
Part II: The Zombie Menace
Let's join the Hendersons again.
They have their shotgun, and they are ready to defend the house.
But Billy tells them the back door has been compromised, and zombies are entering their
home.
Mom doesn't like the sound of this,
and her barely maintained grip on reality begins to give way to hysteria.
Guess we know where sister got it from!
Dad prepares to give her a good cuffing, but Mom has gotten too close to the door,
a bad move during a zombie attack.
The zombies pull her arm through and fight to get a piece of any living flesh that they
can sense.
To the victor goes the spoils, and one hungry ghoul manages to get a good bloody mouthful!
The family manages to force the door closed, but it is evident they now have a much bigger
problem inside:
Mom has been bitten.
Graphic: So, you've been bitten by a zombie. Also Known As, "Say Bye To Mom Kids"
Well, there's only one thing to do now, Dad.
But Wait! Sister doesn't want Dad to do the right thing!
She sure is demonstrating the proper ignorance expected of all young women in America!
Billy jumps in to explain that once a person is infected,
there is no way to reverse the progress of the zombie virus.
The zombie menace first started in Russia, land of communism.
Soviet scientists, working in top secret Satanic labs,
developed a blood-borne pathogen that rapidly kills and re-animates human tissue.
The newly formed walking dead could wreak havoc.
So, they extracted the virus,
packed into specially designed ballistic rockets and jet fighter planes,
so it could be delivered to innocent American soil.
The zombie virus settled over America, where it collected into our great countries lower
regions
and infected the seedier, destructive elements of our God-loving society,
focusing on the Godless anarchists,
like people who listen to Rock music,
Homosexuals,
Beatniks,
and of course...
Canadians!
When the virus infects a person, it focuses it's control on the brain.
and migrates through the mouth where it can be spread through saliva.
Destroying the brain, or severing the head is the only way to permanently stop one of
these degenerate creatures.
Billy tells sister that isn't her mom anymore.
Sister understands now! It's time for Mom to meet her maker!
Billy, you should be proud of your sister!
By beating her mindless mother into a quivering pulp, she proves herself a better, truer American!
Graphic: Part III: The Zombie Emergency Management Agency and you
The Hendersons are prepared to escape.
They have their weapons, and the plucky determination that Americans are known for!
But the zombies are drawn, relentlessly, toward living flesh,
and a running battle is always to be expected in these situations.
Graphic: So you're making a run for it: Also Known As "Bring a lot of slow people".
Sister bravely separates from the group, and meets a lone zombie.
which is easily handled by anyone who has a chainsaw.
Remember, Sister; Lift, and Separate!
Good Work, Sister!
Billy, though, lost his weapon in the escape,
and Dad offers to cover him while he returns to fetch it.
Billy uses his speed and agility around the slow zombies, a great technique!
Billy retrieves his handy weapon, and manages to waylay another undead, driving it back
with blow after blow.
Dad only has a few rounds left. He better make them count:
That's one...
...and two!
Don't forget there are zombies everywhere! So never stop shooting!
The Hendersons are doing a fantastic job buying time for Z.E.M.A.
The Zombie Emergency Management Agency.
An elite force of highly trained special operatives for exterminating re-animated corpses.
Z.E.M.A.'s ultimate goal is containment and eradication!
Quarantining an infested region by blocking all major highways in and out of an area.
For this, Z.E.M.A. needs TIME.
Let's see what else the Hendersons can do to help their country.
Sister is using her ignorance to full advantage.
Her stupidity manages to distract several zombies for our brave troops.
Good job, Sister!
Billy's Attention Deficit Disorder draws almost half a dozen zombies away from government
blockades.
What a Great American!
Dad's knee wound, and rampant overconfidence, helps to keep the attention of an entire horde
of the walking dead.
His tortured and visceral screams draw more and more zombies to the feast!
Dad has really demonstrated his value to his country!
Now that Z.E.M.A. has the city secured, the armed forces are able to administer special
cleansing devices.
Of course, the United States will prevail against this threat.
All thanks to the sacrifice of the Hendersons, and of course
All good Americans just like you!
Graphic: The End

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